Here I Was Back In The Hereafter AKA School
by Moon Made of Longing
Summary: What happens when Candy Quackenbush returns to Chickentown and school? Why is Ignacio the stichling wandering the hallways? And why in all of Abarat is Candy admitting to killing the Criss-Cross Man?
1. Chapter 1

Here I was back in the Hereafter

Here I was back in the Hereafter. I must be insane but Christopher Carrion ( my soon to be husband) insisted I tell my parents BEFORE the wedding. He made that a rule after he found out I was planning on telling them AFTER. Back to the present. Well as I am about to join Christopher in ruling Gorgossium I just thought that I should start wearing black.

Today I walked into class for the first time in 5 months, time passes differently in the Abarat then here, in all black, wow am I just brilliant or what. I could tell it was a bad idea the minute I walked into the room and heard snickering, laughing and an assortment of other noises that suggested I had something other than a good time coming. And just my luck Ms. Shwartz HADN'T been swept away by the flood.

Wait it gets even better. Our current unit is religion and of course Ms. Shwartz being who she is (a homicidal maniac in other words) is having us confess sins in front of the class. Actually it was kind of interesting to see which class mates flushed the still alive fish down the toilet when they were four and other stupid things like that. Then my turn. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I think I'll shock them into respecting me, it might not be the best plan ever but who cares what happens.

I slowly walk to the front of the class. Here goes nothing. "Class let us have a moment of silence for Otto Houlihan also known as the Criss-Cross Man. I am ashamed to tell you that I, Candy Quackenbush, killed Houlihan less than 3 months ago. It was an accident I never meant to hurt him but he ended up dead all the same. Now that I have confessed any questions about him?"

A couple of hands raise. "Who was the Criss-Cross man?"

"The Criss-Cross man was a ,hmmmmm, let's call it bounty hunter or paid kidnapper who was hired to abduct me."

"Why?"

"Oh, I'm not quite sure but you can ask my soon-to-be-husband why, he's the one who hired him. I'll explain the rest later."

At that instant we heard it. An intruder in the building! Jeez, exciting stuff like this doesn't usually happen in Chickentown. I peek out the window and see


	2. Chapter 2

Ignacio the stichling

I gave a cry of recognition, while my class turned to stare at me.

"Ignacio what are you doing here?"

"The Lord of Midnight requests your presence. If I may be so bold, Princess, he seems to be in quite a temper."

Of course the princess part received a few snorts from Deborah Hackbarth and friends, but other than that there were quite a diverse amount of emotions playing out on people's faces, ranging from revulsion of Ignacio (because he was a stichling) to puzzlement about what he said.

"Hmmmmmmmmm let me think, well it seems kind of obvious that my class needs a scare and it seems that Christopher is in the mood. So I have to get him to come here, but how?" I thought, then it came to me the perfect to make my classmates (and teacher) respect me. I smiled quite evilly and then I put my plan to action.

"Ignacio, tell Christopher that I'm deeply offended that he couldn't be bothered to come and see me!"

I watched Ignacio for any sign of what he thought of this message. I felt sorry for the poor guy when I noticed he was visibly trembling.

"Ignacio, also tell him that I won't speak to him for a week if he so much as touches you."

"Yes, Princess." And bowing he left

Deborah was quick to speak.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Your obviously not from the Abarat."

"Where is the Abarat?" She shot back.

"Oh, across a sea that many people saw the day Chickentown flooded, it's called Mama Izabella."

"Back to him. What's wrong with him?"

"It's kind of hard to explain but it's like this my fiancé's grandmother is trying to take over the world so she made an army of those which happen to be called stichlings."

This interesting conversation was cut short by a gentle rapping on the door of the classroom.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ms

When Ms. Shwartz opened the door there stood a meek, pale, little man with glasses who introduced himself as Mister Pius Masper. I got up from the desk.

"Okay Mr. Masper let's go talk in the hallway."

After saying that I dragged him out into the hall.

"Christopher, can you _please _drop the illusion I like looking at the real you." I begged in that pleading voice I just knew he couldn't resist.

"Fine." He said if somewhat suspiciously and after several strange stages of Mr. Masper/ Christopher Carrion he was back to normal and I could tell that the kids peeking out of the window had a list of things they wanted to do at that moment that would look about like this:

Get out of here

Scream there heads off

Pee their pants

It would be SUCH and understatement to say that I was amused.

"Christopher you're bothered by something, please will you tell me?" I practically purred.

"Hob, Finnegan Hob he's coming _here_ to take _you_!"

Oh, no wonder he was in such a bad mood.

"Well my prince, we should go home, lock ourselves in the Twelfth Tower for a couple of days or weeks."

I could tell how good that sounded to him.

"And could you do me a favor? Could we please ride one of those beautiful giant moths home?"

The surprise on Christopher's face was apparent very, very apparent.

"Please." I said and wrapped my arms around his waist. He was giving in I could tell "Please"

"If you really insist." He consented wrapping his arms around me.

I kissed my prince in the hallway of the Chickentown highschool with a background of gawking faces pressed to the windows.


	4. Chapter 4

Still looking at me Christopher called Ignacio

Still looking at me Christopher called Ignacio.

"Ignacio I need you to bring corpses like last time remember?"

And I could tell that the stichling was stunned by the apparent tenderness still left over from my kiss that appeared in Christopher's very being.

Giggling like a schoolgirl (wait a sec I am a school girl) I snuggled up to the Lord of Midnight (I know it's hard to imagine but actually my Christopher does it quite often.)

Needless to say my classmates were stunned and then Ms. Schwartz spoke up.

"Candy Quackenbush are you meaning to say that you actually killed someone? And are planning on defiling graves for who knows what? Oh, God you're a homicidal maniac (kind of ironic considering I was thinking the same thing about _her_ not too long ago.)

But I couldn't have cared less what Ms. Schwartz said and it's hard to be afraid of the police when you've been through as many mortal perils as I have, you know plus it's hilarious to think that the police could even touch me when I'm protected by the Lord of Midnight and his army of stichlings. There's also the fact that I was preoccupied by thoughts of _Finnegan Hob_ coming and _stealing _me away from my beloved.

I was snapped out of my train of thought by Christopher yelling something at Ignacio.

"You brought bodies here?! People from the Hereafter don't react very kindly to the sight of dead bodies! We'll probably be arrested!"

"Christopher, dear one, if I didn't' know better I would think that you were scared of the Hereafter police, which may I remind you have no magic?" I gently teased him.

Taking his arm I steered him to the front door.

"Come on, love, those moths don't make themselves."

We walked out the front door with about 85 of the student population and all but one of the teachers converging into a giant sightseeing crowd behind us…


	5. Chapter 5

Walking through Chickentown was one of the most interesting experiences I have had (in the Hereafter or anywhere else

Walking through Chickentown was one of the most interesting experiences I have had (in the Hereafter or anywhere else.) The whole walk I felt like the leader of some great parade with all the people trailing behind me and Christopher (and Ignacio still lugging the 4 bodies.) We marched all the way through town until I arrived at my family's house (my house too until a several months ago.)

"Christopher I need you to put a spell around the house so that only you and I may enter or leave O.K.? We can't have people watch you conjure up a moth now can we love?"

"Of course I was going to why wouldn't I?"

With that Christopher muttered a few words in High Abaratic and we stepped into the house, much to my relief, alone. Of course there was still the slight problem of my gaping family.

"Hi Mom I was wondering if my … um… uh … lover Christopher Carrion could use the back yard for about 15 minutes?"

"LOVER! Candy Francesca Quackenbush you are 17 years old and you have a LOVER!?"

Wince. Surprise, surprise my mom exploded while my father stayed in his drunken stupor.

"Mom we can talk about this after we establish the fact that Christopher can use the back yard!"

Cursing Christopher walked up to us "Finnegan is going to get here in about 20 minutes and it takes approx. 15 minutes to make the moth! And I can't lose you when I've only just gotten you."

My eyes brimmed with tears when my loved one said that in such heart-wrenching tones.

"You won't ever EVER lose me I promise." I say and lean there against him resting my head against his chest. I reach up and kiss him and say "I promise." Just for good measure. "Now hurry you can use the back yard it's fine." And slowly I turned around to face my mother's wrath…


	6. Chapter 6

Maybe I shouldn't have used the word LOVER

Maybe I shouldn't have used the word LOVER.

"Candy you're 17 you have the rest of your life!"

Okay LOVER was definitely a bad choice. And I didn't even have Christopher here to protect me (or more importantly comfort me).

"Mom I just thought it best that you knew about it before the wedding."

"Wedding?!"

Picture me banging my hand on something hard, really hard.

"Well I figure it would be for the best I mean we don't want Mater Motley taking over all of the Abarat." Breath in breath out breath in breath out she's not gonna be able to do that there's nothing to worry about.

"Candy I have no idea what you're talking about! Tell me everything, start at the beginning and don't skip anything I can _always_ tell when you're leaving stuff out."

"There is a place called the Abarat where there are islands for every hour of the day…"

So I told her everything ending with the fact that I was going to marry Christopher and help him rule over Gorgossium.

"Honey I'd rather you married for love."

"What are you talking about?! I am in love with Christopher!"

"I think that you're just marrying him for the power and riches."

"Well I'm glad you see me in such a great light." I muttered sarcastically turning around to hid e the tears. I got up and bumped right into Christopher who picked me up and ever so gently kissed away the tears. (He's the best remedy to depression.)

"Love, Finnegan's going to be here any minute we better get going."

"Mom I'll come visit you maybe part of my honeymoon will be here. Bye."

Having said that I hugged my family and let Christopher sweep me up to carry me bridal style to the moth. (Christopher is surprisingly strong.)

Christopher walked out with me snuggled comfortably up to his chest. The whole time he carried me I gazed up at his face. "Up we go" he whispered.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: hey everybody I'm running out of ideas. I got to chapter ten but I guess I just have writer's block. Send me any ideas you have!

Suddenly Finnegan Hob appeared a whole five minutes ahead of schedule. Great.

"Put her down Nightmare."

Christopher whirled around and clutched me tighter. Glaring at Hob with such force I'm surprised that he stood standing.

"I said put her down creep."

Christopher glanced down at me scared that Finnegan's words would have some affect on me. Then he strengthened his protective hold on me. You have no idea how much I wanted to yell, "Wow real original insults Finnegan." But I didn't.

"Carrion put Boa down now."

"Love he doesn't know he wants Boa not me." I whispered.

"Finnegan Hob" He said these words with disgust. "We are in love with two different people. You have your Boa. I have my Candy. Boa left Candy in the flooding of Chickentown." You don't say she left me to deal with all of her stupid decisions. I hate her!

"I don't believe you." But despite his words Finnegan was off-balance. Clearly.

"Candy?" My mom. Her voice so unsure like she didn't even believe in my name anymore. "Who was Boa?" Great I felt like heaving a great big sigh but I didn't, another explanation about how ever since I was born I was possessed by the ghost of a princess killed by a _worm_! Also known as dragons. She led me to the Abarat. A whole adventure or as I could very possibly describe it disaster after disaster after danger after disaster after disaster. I ended up killing at least 2 people one of whom I really cared for. Diomanda. She died and it was my fault. My body killed Houlihan but I didn't do it. It was Boa. She released the magical powers from some freaky totem thingy made of wacko creatures. And turned the scary baseball bat that was trying to kill me on Houlihan which is how she killed the Criss-Cross Man. Boa . Boa. Man if you look up torture and misery Boa's picture will be under both of them. Wow! That must have been her life's accomplishment. Coming back to the crowd I realized that everyone had stopped talking about whatever, OH Yeah! Princess Boa! They had stopped talking about Princess Boa and were staring at me. Oops! I must have started talking to myself.

"Candy!" concerned, very concerned Christopher said.

"Huh?" relief flooded his face. "That was the 25427 trillion time I've said your name!" "Really?" "Yes" Really?" Yes." "Really?" "Yes." "Really?" No not really it was only the twelfth time."

"Uh Christopher can't we take advantage of this very awkward moment while everyone's staring at me to escape on the ginormous moth?"

"Good plan but what's plan B?"

"Plan b?"

"Yes in case plan A doesn't work."

I sat there for a second giving the other half of my heart a very strange look.

"We're running to the big moth I don't think we're going to fail."

No change in his face.

"In other words no plan B."

His face fell "Oh that _stinks_!"

I smacked him on the arm. "Just _run_ already!"

So we started the epic journey across my back yard.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This is going to be the last chapter for a while. Sorry but I'm writing a book write now with one of my friends and it's kinda time consuming, you know? Dedicated to all of you who enjoy this story.

Where were we? Ah, yes the epicness of walking across the dead grass in my backyard. Hmm. You'd think that if everyone was staring at me they would at least notice when I started walking, but no, not a single person noticed. Maybe I should start hanging out with some more observant people.

"They're running away!"

Roll of eyes. Of course the dumbest person in the group (my dad not included cause his mind is definitely not with us) would notice that we were in fact not where we were two minutes ago. Bravo, Finnegan. My compliments.

"Technically we're not running away, we're walking away, Finnegan." Said Christopher in his scathing sarcastic tone. I really should keep my mouth shut, but how could I resist.

"Finnegan, do you mind if I called you Poopegan instead. I don't know it just describes you better, don't you think?"

People had mixed emotions ranging from amused to confused. (Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even know it.) Christopher, however, was pouting.

"How come he gets a nickname and I don't?" he said with an extremely whiny voice.

"Okay, one nickname coming up, just let me ponder that for a second." Ooooh! Ponder is such a cool word. Ponder. Ponder. Pondering. Pondered. Ponder. Ponder. Ponder! Wait a sec. I think I'm actually supposed to be pondering something.

"I don't think that's actually fair Christopher. All the good nicknames for you have already been thought of. By the way when we have a son let's name him Xuxux.

"Like the pyramids?"

"Yes by the way have you gotten rid of the giant, smelly, intelligent bugs yet?"

"Well once there was a kitten named Andrew Lloyd Webber who always wore a mask and lived in the opera house, one day he started calling himself the Demon of Music…"

"Get to the po…"

"You're pregnant?" Wince. High, shrill screeches aren't good for my eardrums.

"NO! I mean no Klog. I mean no Mom. Why would I be pregnant?"

"Good question, kind of like why are you getting married when you're only 17?!"

"Mom, think about it she's only 17 she can't legally get married unless you say so."

Glare. Nice, little bro, rat out big sis and suffer. Evil flame background. Wow, I'm kinda starting to sound like my fiancé. Back to reality. Why is everyone staring at me again?! Oh. I must have been doing my maniacal laughter. Jeez. I've been doing that way to often lately.

Note to self: Stop maniacal laughter. By the way, when and why did I start doing it in the first place.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know it's been forever. And I have some pretty good excuses I just don't think you'd listen. If I were you I wouldn't. And yes it is very, very OOC. With quite a bit of Finnegan bashing but hey, that's what I like.**

Poke. Poke a, poke a, poke, poke, pokey. Humph. No more Mr. Nice Batman. Jab!

"Ouch what was that for? Candy are you alright?"

"No Christopher I am not all right and that was for getting your attention. I absolutely, positively, surely, determinedly, definitely, know I am going to need to find out why and when I started maniacal laughter."

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" The Prince of Darkness started jumping up and down. The poor nightmares were being bounced up against their glass container.

"Christopher, I choose you! Wait how come you're not in your poke ball?"

"I know when you started maniacal laughter!"

"When I absolutely, positively, surely, determinedly…"

My mom burst in with "Candy don't say all that again!"

Then Poopegan joins the conversation with "Definitely know I am going to need to find out why and when I started maniacal laughter!"

"Ummm. How'd you know that?" I asked.

"I write down everything you say down." That's when I burst into tears.

"Christopher, Poopegan is scaring me a lot." Then I got up laughed and skipped over to Christopher.

"Unless I am seriously mistaken we have our own home video of it, darling."

"Really? What did you call it?"

"Well it was one of the following, nervous breakdown, mental breakdown, nervous mental breakdown, Candy's problem with green olives, Candy's problem with llama spit or Candy's problem with green olives and llama spit."

Then Mom asked, "What's wrong with green olives?"

"Mom, it's like this. I went to the kitchens looking for olives, cause olives are tasty beyond all reason. And there were all sorts of olives. Red ones and black ones, all types. I open a jar of em and start shoving them in. About halfway through the jar I freak out and I'm totally convinced that I ate moldy olives so I went and threw up all over the kitchen floor (and no I did not bother to clean it up, I figured hey, it matches the walls) then I decided that I should get a llama to spit in Christopher's face and see what happened, then I cackled evilly (my first time ever may I add.)


End file.
